The reason that my family, friends, and I started Hannah's heart is that I made a promise. Here is our story.On January 8, 1998, at 5:52am, after 15 harrowing hours of labor, Hannah Rose joined our family. She was our second baby, our second daughter, and now Mackenzie had a sister. Hannah was pink, over eight pounds, and perfect. She nursed 4 times over the next 6 hours and then I put her in the nursery so my husband Scott (we call him Skee) and I could eat and catch up on some much needed rest. No sooner did we make that last "she's perfect" phone call and lay down, a neo-natologist pulled back the curtain around my hospital bed. I remember staring at the NICU tag on his shirt. I had no idea what was about to become the hardest ordeal we have ever endured. He calmly explained to us that a nurse was watching Hannah and realized she was turning blue. He said that they immediately detected a murmur and that she was being examined in the NICU.

I was not a rookie mom, I had 3 years on the job experience with Mac so I said that my grandma had a murmur and that she lived to be 85. The last words I remember him saying was "it is not that kind of murmur". The rest of that day is out of order in my memory. I remember calling my mother screaming "the baby is dying". I remember banging on the NICU closed window hysterical to see Hannah. I signed myself out of the hospital, with a follie bag still attached to me, and following several cars behind the ambulance that was taking Hannah to CHOC.

That entire night was paper work, questions, hysteria, and exaustion. We were told they were going to keep her on meds throughout the night and that in the morning they would do a heart catherization to determine the severity of her heart defect. There were pictures drawn on napkins by cardiologists for us to see, while they explained that Hannah was born with a 3 chambered heart. The first cardiologist felt there was a small bit of blood flow in her defected ventricle, we later learned there was not. So they sent us home for the night. I had been up 36 hours, and had given birth 12 hours ealier. I could not stop shaking. Mackenzie touched my belly when we came home. "No baby mommy?" she quietly whispered. "Not tonight" I said through my tears. She told me she was going to pray that God would not take her sister away from her. I went to my room and collapsed.

"What if I love her and she dies"? I woke up screaming to my mother. "What if you don't and she lives?" she answered back. I took a shower while my husband held my follie bag. It was 4am, we needed to get to the hospital. I lost it. I told Skee I couldn't go. I couldn't bury my baby. He called my mother into the bathroom. My mother is the strongest woman I know. She too was crying. She told me I had 5 minutes to scream and yell and kick and scream and then we needed to leave. I cried in that bathroom like I have never cried in all my life. I cried out of anger, fear, sadness. I cried so hard I thought I was going to die. And 5 minutes later I stood up, dried off, and became the mother that my Hannah Rose deserved. I never cried like that again.

We found out that Hannah had a disease called Pulmonary Atresia. Over the next 7 months she had 5 operations. 3 heart catherizations, 1 closed heart surgery, and open heart in August of 1998. We fought the insurance company and moved her treatment to UCLA where we met Dr. Vivek Allada. He gave us not only answers, he gave us hope. He is our hero. And so Hannah's heart came from a promise I made that morning I was screaming in the bathroom. I promised GOD that if I got the chance to love and raise my baby, I would give back. I would give back the hope, the kindness, the caring. I would share our story, share our lives, and share the joy that Hannah has brought to world everyday since. It started with that promise and has grown into more then I ever dreamed. We have made "Care Kits" our main focus as of now. They are covered containers filled with essential things that parents in crisis need. We bring them to the NICU. They have toothpaste, toothbrushes, razors, mouthwash, shampoo, other toiletries, snacks, pens and paper to take notes, and books, And I am not only giving back, I am teaching my daughters (we now have 3) that our greatest gift to others is our greatest gift to ourselves.